Saturday, March 28, 2009

In The Beginning

Once upon a time there were two beautiful princesses. Unfortunately, their Prince Charmings did not allow them to live the life of leisure to which they were so rightfully entitled so they toiled at jobs that would allow them the luxuries they so richly deserved, i.e., food, lodging and heat.

Now, across the street from where these princesses labored (not really; they were secretaries) there arose an ominous building known far and wide as the Doggie Dachau, AKA Animal Control Shelter. Poor, unsuspecting furry and feathered creatures were taken there; some in the hopes they would find a new home and others with the outright destination of destruction. Sometimes the doors were locked so mouth breathing idiots would just turn their animals loose. I suppose they thought the animals would turn themselves in once business hours commenced. Many times these terrified pets would be found in the princesses' parking lot. Now, as much as both princesses loved all animals, they were unable to keep them all. Many a time they were able to find homes for the strays with other employees. If all else failed, the animals were taken through the dreaded doors. Better to die a humane death than face starvation, being hit by a car or becoming a meal for the wild beasts that also lurked in the area.

Enter the rabbits. The princesses were never able to capture any of the domestic bunnies that had been set loose by the aforementioned brain dead. They fretted over their fate and ultimately sacrificed some of their hard earned cash to buy rabbit pellets, vegetables, fruit and straw to help them survive in the wild. The bunnies became somewhat tame and would come running when the princesses came outside to feed them. And lo, but those princesses were faithful. They even each would come on their days off to make sure the rabbits were fed and watered (and water in the winter in Alaska is a precious commodity)

The rabbits set up housekeeping under some abandoned furniture behind the building where the princesses earned their keep. They dug cozy shelters and because they were so well taken care of, commenced to procreate (although absolutely never, ever in the princesses' presence) It was magical. One day there would be several adult rabbits. The next day a baby bunny or two would appear, then another, and another and, well you know how rabbits are. The princesses were thrilled. But then, tragedy. The baby bunnies started to disappear. Owls, eagles and feral cats were suspected but what could the princesses do? This was Nature. And rabbits being rabbits, there were new babies soon.

But then the Evil Witch ("B" can be substituted for the "W") of the building caught wind of the princesses good deeds. She could have none of that. Out of sheer spite, she hired a work crew to take away all the abandoned furniture, although it had been sitting there for years. She managed to leave untouched all the other crap that was strewn around the entrances that people tripped over but the bunnies were too afraid to live there. As you might expect, the rabbits were picked off by whatever ate the babies and soon they were no more. The princesses are now reduced to feeding redpolls, the feathered pigs of the bird world.

The End (or is it?)